Tips on tips

While many of us are traveling, it's a good time to revisit tips. Here's our handy guide you can use both at home and on the road (or in the air or at sea!).

TIPPING GUIDE
Restaurant servers: 15—20 percent
Room service: 15—20 percent
Food delivery person: 15 percent
Pool attendant: nothing for a towel; for a lounge chair, $1—2
Hotel housekeeper: $1—2 per day
Golf course attendant: $2—3 per bag
Caddy: $25—50 per bag
Skycap: $1—2 per bag; extra if he secures your airline seat for you
Tour guide: $1—5 per person
Hotel doorman: for hailing a taxi, $1
Emergency roadside service: $5—20, depending on the service
Hairdresser: 15—20 percent (but do not tip the salon’s owner)
Shampooer: $2—5
Spa assistants: 15 percent 

Happy trails!

Let's go to the library!

We love to beat the heat with a good book —and why not do it for free? Libraries are awesome for a lot of reasons, but this time of year, it’s a particularly great place to bring children for fun, especially as most libraries’ have kid-friendly summer programming. Which means that now is a good time to review library etiquette, for both children and adults.

• Be quiet. This should be obvious, but the library needs to be a quiet place to accommodate the reading and research that happens there. That doesn’t mean you can’t talk at all—just keep it to whispers, or a very low volume. If you’ve ever been to the children’s section, you’ll know that it’s often significantly louder than the rest of the library. It’s normal and developmentally appropriate for children to be loud. Still, reminding your children to use their “indoor voice” is a good idea, as it instills a sense of library decorum that they will hopefully remember and use as they grow older. (Side note: excited children who are loud are often likely running around, too. Remind them to use their “walking feet” to avoid collisions!)

Remember to silence your phones, too. If you need to take a call, go to the lobby or outside. (This might be hard to do if you’re in the children’s section with a young child—if it’s not an emergency, simply call the person back later, or else take the phone call with a very quiet voice.) Leave your music at home, unless you bring headphones and can be completely sure that the music is completely inaudible to others.

• Be patient. This is good advice for spending time in any public place: keep your hands to yourself and leave other people’s belongings alone. Of course, children may reach for the same book, computer, or game at the same time. These are teachable moments on sharing. If your child pitches a fit, calmly remind her that the library can put the book on hold for later, or that she may wait for her turn for a computer station or game. If your child is still screaming, it’s time to gently remove him from the library, with the promise to return once he is ready.

• Be orderly. If you take a book off the shelf, decide it’s not for you, and don’t remember where you got it, what should you do? Place the book on rolling carts that are made for that purpose, or hand it over to a librarian. It’s much easier for a librarian to shelve it in the appropriate spot than look for a misplaced book.

• Be considerate. This covers a lot of bases—like not bringing food or drink inside, wearing appropriate clothing (shirt and shoes!), going into staff areas, being rude to employees or other patrons, engaging in loud or abusive language. But it also means taking care of the books that you check out. Never write or draw in it, or fold or “dog-ear” pages, and teach your child to avoid those things, too. Remember—you’re borrowing the book. You have to give it back so that someone else can check it out. And do remember to return the books on time! You’ll save yourself library fees and help others enjoy the books waiting for them.

Happy reading!

Cupcakes

We love cupcakes, don't you? But they can be messy little things. How do you eat them?

You can certainly use utensils. Forks can be helpful when splitting a cupcake with filling, for example. If you've ordered a jumbo cupcake—the kind meant to be shared among several people—you may cut the cupcake into wedges with a knife, wrapper and all, to divide it evenly.

A knife also comes in hand for a neat sandwich-style trick: cut a hefty slice from the bottom of the cupcake, place it on top of the frosting, and enjoy.

But we say that tidiness is not the most important thing to consider when eating a cupcake. Frosting on your nose? No problem. Savoring even the smallest crumbs in the wrapper? Go for it. Some things are meant to be messy.

 

Swimming manners

It’s time to hit the pool, or beach, or lake, or any body of water that’s just made for the kind of hot summer days we’re having in our neck of the woods. But before you go, take a refreshing refresher course on how to have a good time—by using your manners, of course.

Splashing

If you’re in water, you’re going to get splashed—that’s half the fun, especially if you’re a kid (or kid at heart). There’s really no way around this if the pool or beach is packed with families. If you envision a peaceful afternoon reading a paperback book pool/lakeside, consider moving away from the water, or at least away from young children.

Parents, set some ground rules: no splashing/squirting strangers or anyone in the face (unless face-splashing is part of the game, and all of the children know and are OK with it). And try to aim them away from child-free adults.

Sand

It hurts to get sand in your eyes. We all know this. Even children. And yet they still throw it. Pain can be a great teacher, but it can also ruin the whole day. For small children, set the rule of no throwing sand. And absolutely no throwing sand at strangers. That’s just mean!

Music

We recommend leaving music at home entirely, unless you’re planning on bring earbuds (and staying far away from water), and what’s the fun in that? If you’re determined to bring music, keep the volume very low. Not everyone shares your taste in music.

Pets

Before you pack up the dog, learn the rules concerning animals at the pool, lake or beach.  And follow those rules.

Food

Avoid bringing glass, because no one wants to step on broken glass, obviously. If you’re trying to go green and avoid using plastic, we recommend using stainless steel or aluminum containers. Of course, learn if food is allowed at your destination beforehand.

Toys

It comes down to this: teach your children to leave other people’s things alone. That might sound harsh. But so is watching middle-grade-aged children rifle through a series of complete stranger’s bags on the beach (while their parents looked on). Of course, if children see a raft/boat/squeaky dolphin that they absolutely must play with, then they certainly can ask permission if they can play with it—maybe they’ll even make some new friends that day. But marching up and taking something without asking is technically stealing. And super annoying. Children lack impulse control, but you can still start enforcing this rule at any age—just keep reminding them (gently—remember, they can’t help their undeveloped impulse control!) and helping them return items that have been “borrowed without permission.”

Clean up when you go

Leave no trash behind!

Have a great time!

A day by the water doesn’t have to be a joyless outing filled with strict rules. Just keep basic manners in mind and everyone will have a wonderful time!

Happy host, happy guests

There’s nothing like traveling and staying with friends and family, especially if everyone gets along! You can make sure that everyone still gets along after your stay if you follow our tips.

When you are packing…

• Consider bringing a host or hostess gift to present upon your arrival. Thoughtfulness always trumps expensiveness, so think of something simple and personal—a token  from your native state (like maple syrup from Vermont or peach jam from Georgia), a framed photo, monogrammed stationary, or guest towels.

• Unless you’ve been given explicit permission to bring a pet along, make arrangements at a kennel or with a pet-sitter.

• Prepare for a too-cold or too-warm house and pack layers to wear. That way you can change your wardrobe when needed and stay comfortable without asking your host to adjust the temperature for you.

• Before you get there, make sure your host knows exactly when you will be arriving and leaving.

When you are there…

• Follow the house schedule for meals and bedtime.

• Ask if you can help prepare meals or clean up afterward. And if your hosts prepare to cook and clean themselves, respect that too, and graciously leave them to their work.

• Keep your room tidy during your stay, and resist the urge to snoop in closets or drawers.

• If you break something, don’t hide it. Tell your host immediately and offer to repair or replace it.

• Limit your screen and phone time. Remember, you’ve traveled to be in their company.

• Whenever appropriate, thank them throughout the trip for their hospitality; you don’t have to wait until you’re leaving.

When you leave…

• As you’re packing to go, thoroughly tidy the guest room and bathroom.

• Take the bed linens off the bed and place the laundry at the foot of the bed. Put used bathroom towels in the laundry room, or stack them on the edge of the bathtub.

• Tour the house and make sure you don’t forget any of your belongings.

• Once you get home, hand-write and mail a thank-you card!

A polite way to eat finger foods!

You might call them canapés, hors d’oeuvres, party snacks, or finger food, but it’s all the same thing: small food items, often decorative, held in the fingers and usually eaten in one bite. Whether you’re at a formal party or a backyard soiree, we have tips to help you eat and socialize without making a mess!

In the buffet line

While serving yourself in the buffet line, use the offered serving utensil, not your fingers!

Place one of each hors d’oeuvres on your plate—even if you love sliders, don’t load your plate with 10 of them. You can always return multiple times to a buffet table, so pace yourself.  Make sure you are not overloading your plate with each visit—these are small, bite-sized pieces, not a Christmas dinner!

At a less formal party, you may need to reuse a plate, but at a catered party, use a new, clean plate for each buffet visit.

Enjoying the food

Wait for hot items to cool so you don’t burn your mouth. Resist the urge to blow on your food—let it cool on its own, and use the time to practice your small talk.

Some hors d’oeuvres might be speared on a toothpick for easy serving. Hold the toothpick and eat the food from it, but don’t put the used toothpick back on a serving dish on the buffet table—leave it on the edge of your plate.

Use a fork and knife for messier foods like dips or oil- or vinegar-heavy treats. Even if the food item is bite-sized, slice it into two pieces and eat the segments with a fork. And if a knife and fork are offered with a plate, use them. In this instance, there should be places to sit, so eat your meal at a bartop or highboy table.

Say thanks
 

Make sure to thank the wait staff as they serve you—and of course, thank the host or hostess before you go!

Cash gifts & graduates

Whether it’s marking the end of middle school, high school, or college, graduation is a thrilling time. It’s a moment to celebrate, this sending-off to the next level (or out into the “real world”). If you’re considering gift-giving to mark the occasion, you might be thinking of cash gifts. Worried that it’s too impersonal a present? Fear not—you can make a cash gift both meaningful and memorable, and without breaking the bank.

Talking about money can be hard, especially in these economic times, but let’s be realistic and discuss how much you should give.

It turns out that there’s not an across-the-board answer—no “Give this amount for eighth graders and this amount for college grads.” No. This is a more nuanced decision, based on a lot of different things—how well you know the graduate, the graduate’s future financial needs, your own financial status. Consider the graduate’s level of support and stage of independence: a person beginning their post-college career may appreciate a larger cash gift than a young teenager who lives in a financially stable home.

Don’t feel pressure to give beyond your means. A modest amount of money is still a wonderful gift, especially if you include it in a note written on personal stationary. When you give money along with a heartfelt letter, your words of encouragement and wisdom will be long remembered after the money is spent.

You can also take the focus off the money by making it the secondary gift. We like to give meaningful books and tuck a cash gift inside the pages. When we write the inscription in the front of the book, we mention a particular page number. It’s a nice surprise, and the book makes the gift more personal and significant.

Regardless of the present, make sure your graduate feels your love—that kind of support sustains more than money!