HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

We hope you have a very merry time with your loved ones...

With love from some of our Perfectly Polished family to yours!

Parties, hosts, and gifts

Whether you've got one more holiday party to attend, a New Year's get-together on the horizon, or any party for any reason at all....it's a good time to think about bringing a gift for the party host. 

We love this idea and think it never goes out of style to show your appreciation in a festive way—and you don’t have to go overboard, either. A small but heartfelt token will do nicely! 

When it comes to host or hostess gifts, keep practicality first and foremost in mind. If the host is a good friend, then you’ll likely already have several ideas for the perfect gift. But if you don’t know the host very well, we have some ideas for gifts that have wide-ranging appeal!

• Are you traveling to the party? Bring some local interest with you! Non-perishable foodstuffs from your hometown (maple sugar candy from Vermont, or peach jam from Georgia, for example) are thoughtful presents.

• Go with a monogram! Stationary, guest towels, coasters…there are plenty of choices.

• High-quality tea often has the bonus of coming in beautiful tins or packaging. Or if your host prefers coffee, find a favorite blend—bonus points if you have a local roaster!

• Support local artisans while selecting something truly unique! Search for hand-made soaps, lotions, candles, jewelry, knitting, or other goods, which you might find in local stores, art galleries, or even farmer’s markets. (Remember that unless you know your host well, avoid strong scents!)

• Flowers in an attractive keepsake vase are a perennial favorite, no matter how elaborate or simple the arrangement. Potted amaryllis is also a beautiful choice that will come back next season. Make sure that if your host has pets, the plants are safe! 

Happy Peaceful Thanksgiving!

To our friends in the U.S. - Happy Thanksgiving!

Sometimes it's hard to stay positive amid all the turmoil, both everyday and extreme, that surrounds us in our personal lives and in the broader news of the world. Let's use this Thanksgiving as a time to gather how we can and appreciate the love that does surround us, whether you find it in family, friends, nature, or elsewhere!

For those anticipating big family gatherings, we have a few tips to keep the peace...

• Your family may be the type who thrives on lively, boisterous discussions and arguments, and manages to end all of them with a hug. But if your family is the kind to leave seriously upset after a debate, skip it this time, and avoid talking about politics, religion, or other hot-button topics.

• Unplug! Keep screens off the table, and save them for a little leisure time when everyone is resting, post-meal.

• Or get outside. A walk around the neighborhood can be a healthy respite after marathon eating, and maybe even inspire some good conversation.

• Remember that deep down, you really do love each other! 

Happy Holidays!

To Ghost or Not to Ghost?

...From a party, that is.

As the holiday party season begins, you might find yourself with at least one work or social engagement already on the calendar. Such a time can be the pinnacle of fabulousness for the avid party-goer, and a dreaded responsibility for the classic introvert. For some, the idea of ghosting—leaving a party without saying goodbye, just slipping quietly out the door—can hold immense appeal.

This ghost has clearly been to a party

It sounds like a huge etiquette no-no, but there is support of the practice. Like this article, for example, which reminds us that saying goodbye to the host before leaving can interrupt conversations, grind the social flow to a halt, and result in an awkward bummer of a farewell. Replace the spoken goodbye with a text or email later, and you're golden, the writer says.

We can see the attraction of ghosting in some specific situations, like perhaps a social anxiety-fueled moment that requires an immediate exit...or, in less dire stations, simply being exhausted at the end of a long night. And what if you're at a huge party, where you're convinced your host wouldn't miss you—let alone be able to simply find you to say goodbye?

While we believe that etiquette is a nuanced, malleable thing that can change with the times, we also believe that whenever possible, saying goodbye to your hosts and thanking them for a good time is the best thing to do.

Imagine you're the host, and you've just noticed that a guest has gone missing. Vanished, in effect. Would you worry for his or her welfare? Fret over what happened? Spend valuable party time texting, calling, or wandering aimlessly in hopes of finding your friend? Assume that the party's been a total bust, or that you've offended people somehow? 

The host has likely spent some time, effort, and resources on creating a (hopefully) pleasant experience for you. Taking a brief moment to thank them before you leave is always most appreciated. 

And if you really, truly do need to split, right then, right there, send an explanation as soon as you can via call or message, and go ahead and thank them for the invitation!

Parties with kids

Between Halloween (right around the corner!) and the regular amount of birthdays, children's party season is in full swing! We'd like to remind you that even though the guests are young, the same manners should apply. To make life easier, follow our tips!

RSVP! Parents like to know how many cupcakes to bake or party favors to make.

Ask to help. More elaborate children's parties may benefit from adult supervision during certain activities. 
 
Be on time. Unless the party specifies "drop-in" hours, try to be on time. We all know that "kid time" (especially when infants are involved) is a little different than "regular time," but make an effort whenever possible.

Don't ignore the kids. If the parents are sticking around, pay attention to the children, especially younger ones who need more direction and redirection. 

Prepare for presents. If gifts are involved and the guests are very young, remind your children that the birthday boy or girl is the one (and the only one) to open the presents. This is a good opportunity to talk about being patient and taking turns—skills kids need to learn anyway. If your child is the birthday girl or boy, remind them that if they open a present they dislike, they only need to say two words: "Thank you!"

Leave on time. Even if a magnificent time was had by all, chances are that the hosts are tired and ready to take a nap by the end. Don't linger when the party is over—say your goodbyes and thank-yous and make plans to talk about another playdate soon. (Remember: if young guests tend to fall apart, cry, pitch fits and/or throw tantrums when it's time to go, then you know it was a successful party!)

 Say thanks. Guests, thank the host for inviting you. Hosts, thank the guests for coming. And guests of honor—remember to send thank-you cards if received any presents!

Invites & Answers

We love a good party and bet you do, too. Let's talk about RSVPing — something everyone should do once an invitation arrives, whether it's paper or online.

Why RSVP?
Think of the host, trying to figure out food, drinks, possibly seating. Head counts can be critical! It's also the thoughtful thing to do. 

How to RSVP
If you get an invitation online, your answer is usually as easy as clicking a button. If you respond "maybe," be sure to change your response "yes" or "no" before the party. No need for a follow-up e-mail.

If your invite is by mail, use the phone number or e-mail provided. For formal events, use the notes that are usually enclosed in the envelope (think wedding invitations).

If an invitation says "Regrets Only," respond only if you are unable to attend.

When is it too late to RSVP?
Technically, after the party! But make your host's life easier and give an answer well in advance. Some invites include a helpful deadline. In any case, let them know whether you're coming at least a week in advance.

What if I need to change my answer?
No worries—cancel if you must, but let the host know as soon as possible. No need to go into elaborate details, but do thank the host for inviting you in the first place.

If you discover that you can attend a party after you've said you can't, consider the kind of party before you call or e-mail. If it's a formal party with exact seating arrangements, and you discover you can attend at the last minute, leave well enough alone and sit this one out. If the party is less formal, ask the host whether you can still attend before just showing up.

What if I'm invited but my friend isn't?
In short, keep the party information to yourself unless you are 100% sure your friend is also invited. And don't ask if they've been invited.

What if my friend is invited but I'm not?
Try to be gracious and happy for your friend. If it seems like a glaring oversight — invite lost in the mail? E-mail acting weird? Absent-minded, well-meaning host?—you still have to wait until the host mentions something about it, which means you may never get to address the issue. This is one of those things you might just have to let go. Remember: there are a lot more parties in your future, anyway.

A polite way to eat finger foods!

You might call them canapés, hors d’oeuvres, party snacks, or finger food, but it’s all the same thing: small food items, often decorative, held in the fingers and usually eaten in one bite. Whether you’re at a formal party or a backyard soiree, we have tips to help you eat and socialize without making a mess!

In the buffet line

While serving yourself in the buffet line, use the offered serving utensil, not your fingers!

Place one of each hors d’oeuvres on your plate—even if you love sliders, don’t load your plate with 10 of them. You can always return multiple times to a buffet table, so pace yourself.  Make sure you are not overloading your plate with each visit—these are small, bite-sized pieces, not a Christmas dinner!

At a less formal party, you may need to reuse a plate, but at a catered party, use a new, clean plate for each buffet visit.

Enjoying the food

Wait for hot items to cool so you don’t burn your mouth. Resist the urge to blow on your food—let it cool on its own, and use the time to practice your small talk.

Some hors d’oeuvres might be speared on a toothpick for easy serving. Hold the toothpick and eat the food from it, but don’t put the used toothpick back on a serving dish on the buffet table—leave it on the edge of your plate.

Use a fork and knife for messier foods like dips or oil- or vinegar-heavy treats. Even if the food item is bite-sized, slice it into two pieces and eat the segments with a fork. And if a knife and fork are offered with a plate, use them. In this instance, there should be places to sit, so eat your meal at a bartop or highboy table.

Say thanks
 

Make sure to thank the wait staff as they serve you—and of course, thank the host or hostess before you go!