HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

We hope you have a very merry time with your loved ones...

With love from some of our Perfectly Polished family to yours!

Parties, hosts, and gifts

Whether you've got one more holiday party to attend, a New Year's get-together on the horizon, or any party for any reason at all....it's a good time to think about bringing a gift for the party host. 

We love this idea and think it never goes out of style to show your appreciation in a festive way—and you don’t have to go overboard, either. A small but heartfelt token will do nicely! 

When it comes to host or hostess gifts, keep practicality first and foremost in mind. If the host is a good friend, then you’ll likely already have several ideas for the perfect gift. But if you don’t know the host very well, we have some ideas for gifts that have wide-ranging appeal!

• Are you traveling to the party? Bring some local interest with you! Non-perishable foodstuffs from your hometown (maple sugar candy from Vermont, or peach jam from Georgia, for example) are thoughtful presents.

• Go with a monogram! Stationary, guest towels, coasters…there are plenty of choices.

• High-quality tea often has the bonus of coming in beautiful tins or packaging. Or if your host prefers coffee, find a favorite blend—bonus points if you have a local roaster!

• Support local artisans while selecting something truly unique! Search for hand-made soaps, lotions, candles, jewelry, knitting, or other goods, which you might find in local stores, art galleries, or even farmer’s markets. (Remember that unless you know your host well, avoid strong scents!)

• Flowers in an attractive keepsake vase are a perennial favorite, no matter how elaborate or simple the arrangement. Potted amaryllis is also a beautiful choice that will come back next season. Make sure that if your host has pets, the plants are safe! 

Holidays on a budget

Are you doing some last-minute holiday shopping, only to realize your budget is a lot smaller than you thought? 

Who can afford to be this guy?

Don’t be embarrassed—you’re not alone! Luckily, there are plenty of ways to show your love for friends and family during the holidays that rely more on thoughtfulness and less on money. That’s right—it’s time to revisit the idea of a “budget holiday." Here are some tips!

• For large families, consider drawing names, at least among the adults, to cut down on the amount of gifts to buy.

• If the children of the family are, well, no longer children, consider coming to a group consensus on gift giving (say, when the youngest graduates high school or college, or gets a job—or some other marker of maturity—agree to send holiday letters or cards rather than money or gifts).

• Rather than exchange gifts, think about all pitching in on an experience, whether that’s a weekend getaway, a road trip, or dinner and a movie. Younger children might have fun with geocaching or a more low-tech scavenger hunt.

• If you know what they love and are well aware of any food allergies, there’s nothing wrong with a plate full of cookies (or other such treats). Or how about a cookie-decorating get-together?

• If someone has a Christmas tree, it needs ornaments! Browse Pinterest or other handy sites for inspiration and get to crafting. (If all else fails, a good old-fashioned paper chain is always cheerful, and you can make it more meaningful with hidden messages written on each paper link.)

• Give the gift of your time. Make a date with a friend for a long talk, coffee, or spending time on a mutual hobby. The memories will last long after the holidays!

New Year...New Listening

As we continue to make fresh starts with the new year, let's focus some self-improvement efforts towards a very simple act...listening.

At least, it seems like it should be simple, but becoming a better listener can take work. How often have you been frustrated when chatting with a friend who is distracted, interrupting, and not fully present? And have you ever found yourself wishing you could be a better confidante for your friends? Or to be a more mindful and "in the moment" during conversations?

We have some tips for you!

It's OK to be quiet when listening. In fact, resist the urge to interrupt. Even if you are trying to sympathize or encourage a friend, you don't have to chime in with your own thoughts—sometimes the speaker just needs to talk and be heard. You can be that receptive friend.

Check your body language—right down to your feet! If your feet are both pointed to the person with whom you're conversing, you are likely fully in the conversation. If even one foot is pointed away from the person, it may look like you're looking for an escape!

Minimize distractions. Silence the cell phone, turn off the TV...do what it takes to help you focus on your friend.

And if you're doing the talking...

Slow down. Speaking more distinctly and slowly allows the listener time to hear you. When you listen to a fast talker, details get missed, like the last name of someone being introduced, for example. (And people introducing themselves often say their name so quickly it sounds like one word.) 

May the new year be filled with good conversation!

Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays!

Joyeux Noel!

Felix Navidad!

Mele Kalikimaka!

God Jul!

Buon Natale!

Vrolijk Kerstfeest!

Here's to a New Year full of warmth, love, and kindness to all!

Be a Light: Last-minute Lines

Whether you ordered holiday gifts weeks ago or are still checking things off your list, it's likely you'll somehow get caught in the last-minute shopping frenzy. 

Even if you just need one thing at the grocery store or post office, you may find your regular errands are complicated with traffic jams and frantic shoppers. Maybe you're one of the frantic shoppers. No judgement here! 

The point is, shopping, driving, waiting in lines—it gets pretty serious this time of year.

So let's shine a little kindness on the situation. You can do it in easy ways that will make everything a lot more bearable for everyone, especially you.

• Before errands, eat something first, or take a little snack with you to keep you going. Counts double if you have a child with you.

• Remember that each line will eventually end. Take some deep breaths. Smile. If you see some bad behavior — another adult pitching a fit, for example — try to show some compassion in your head (just think how bad a day he or she must be having to lose it like that) and move on.

• Manners! "Please" and "thank you" mean a lot—especially if you're talking to a sales associate who just dealt with a fit-pitching adult. If a store employee asks how you're doing out of habit, you can say, "Fine, thanks, how are you?" It's the little things that can make a hectic work day better. 

• Add some Zen to your drive. Someone cut you off in traffic? It's OK. That was going to be your parking space? Oh well. You will eventually get to where your destination. Let it go. Your life will be the same after you park the car. Any other attitude will just get your blood pressure up.

• Think of people you love. Works a charm every time. 

The Fine Art of Hugging

We all need a little love and compassion, right? Hugs are a great way to convey that—sometimes.

Hugs have become the new handshake among many people, but it's always good to remember that in professional environments and other formal situations, you should stick to shaking hands. It's also good to remember that not every person is a "hugger" - that some people find hugs very uncomfortable and awkward. It's never wrong to ask "Can I hug you?" before going for it, and to break the hug off after a few seconds.

Different situations may call for different hugs:

• The Side Hug: Extend one arm; the side of your body touches the other person's side. This  is appropriate for casual acquaintances; when hugging someone non-familial of the opposite sex; for counselors or teachers with children.

• The Full/Front Hug: Wrap both arms around the person; this could easily become a bear hug. Good for loved ones—family, significant others, or close friends.

• The Boy Hug - Really! This is the term we hear among our students, named for the kind of hug they see mostly among young boys and men. It's a very quick embrace in which only your lower arms extend to the other person's back, maybe followed by a little pat or slap on the back. 

Here's to 2013

Happy New Year!

A new year is like a clean slate, appealing for all of the promise and mystery it holds. Are you thinking of resolutions today - maybe better food, more exercise, a different job? Travel, home improvement, quality time with friends? Finally tackling that big project? 

May we suggest a very simple one? Let's make 2013 a year in which we truly think of others first.

Now is a great time to re-read our guest blog post  by Jay H. Remer, Jr., International Protocol and Corporate Etiquette Consultant, columnist, and the blogosphere's "Etiquette Guy." His call for compassion, kindness, and civility still rings true, and we love what he has to say.

Here's to a fresh start - or a continuation of your success - in 2013!

Home stretch

In the parking lots, post offices, department stores, highways and while waiting in line for a photo with Santa...

Take a deep  breath. Or several. Preferably 10, slowly.

Where we live, final preparations for the holidays are presenting themselves in the usual ways: bad traffic, long lines, and watching fellow customers have public meltdowns over not finding the gifts they need. 

This is the perfect time to find a little extra kindness for others and to be gentle on ourselves. To slow down in parking lots and simply let it go when someone cuts you off for a space. To keep things cheerful when the customer in front of you in the checkout has taken frustration out on a clerk. To offer a smile to random stranger—the worst that can happen is you'll be ignored, and the best is that you might be the unexpected comfort the other person needs the most at that moment. 

There's a lot of darkness in the world. The Winter Solstice - not the end of the world, after all - just gave us the longest night on the year. This is the time to be a light for others and ourselves. Heavy stuff to think about, maybe, but it might get you in and out of the grocery store in a better mood.

Need a tiny bit of help? 

• Deep breathing exercises 
• Video of silent, falling snow 
• Cute puppies! 

Merry Christmas!

Secret Santa, we have help for you!

 
Last-minute shopping for a White Elephant party at work? Or maybe you're doing Secret Santas? Perhaps your whole extended family decided to draw names this year, which sounds like it would be easy until you realize you barely know your giftee. 

We know that shopping stress is an ingrained part of the holidays for so many. But maybe our tips will help get the job done!

• Set a price limit across the board. If you're a crafter, consider time and materials that would roughly equal that dollar amount.

• Invite everyone to send out a public wish list to give others a clue.

• Instead of gifts, consider a special event - ornament decorating, cookie baking, even a scavenger hunt for adventurous types - that yields equal treasures for all.

• Before baking holiday treats, find out if your person has any food allergies or extreme dislikes.

• For the person who truly does have everything, find out his or her favorite charity and make a donation.

• On a similar note, donate a toy that best represents your person to a local hospital.

• If you're still at a loss, seek out those who do know your person well and have a confidential chat to get ideas.

Happy gifting!

Budget Holiday

Let's be blunt. The holidays can be really hard if one can't afford to give gifts, a position that many people are in these days. And then there are folks who, for a variety of reasons, want to simplify their lives by avoiding gift-giving.

What if you're in that situation? What if you aren't, but want to respect those who are? We have solutions for you!

• Be proactive in making others feel comfortable. If you know someone is hurting financially, make things easy and be the first to suggest that this year, you give each other the gift of not exchanging gifts!

• Consider low/no-cost presents that are fun for you both, whether it's a cookie or soup exchange, a hike in the woods, a book club based on library finds, a night devoted to driving around and looking at Christmas lights, or just getting together for silly TV and snacks.

• Get crafty. Decorations from greenery in your yard, old wool sweaters felted in the dryer and cut into ornaments...even if you don't think you're crafty, search the web (Pinterest is a good start) for easy ideas, and enlist friends for help if you need courage in trying something new!

• Encourage friends to bring unwanted items like clothes, books, games, and movies, and host a swap party—everyone brings home something gently loved and new-to-them! (Donate what's leftover.)

• Help others. Purge closets and donate to a charity. Serve in a soup kitchen. Figure out a chore exchange. Find ways to volunteer in the community as a team. 

• A cup of coffee or tea with good conversation goes a long way in the gift department.

Remember that gift-giving doesn't have to be grand or expensive—it's the memories you'll make that will last! 

Sending holiday cheer

Time to send out those holiday cards! But before you do, check out these tips from Cindy...take it away, Cindy!

Before You Mail Those Greeting Cards...

Sign the card even if it is a photo/picture card and even if the names are pre-printed. It means you care enough to take a moment and sign in your own handwriting. And, while you are at it, add a short handwritten note for a personal touch. People who are receiving your card want to connect with you, especially since most cards are a once-a-year connection with some far-flung friends.  

Every year, I look forward to receiving a card from a family of four, with all of their signatures included. I picture them seated with hot cocoa around their breakfast room table at Thanksgiving signing each card.  I have not a clue as to how they do this as a family, but I know they spent time working together on their Christmas card. It warms my heart!

When you sign your card, just your name is perfect—no titles, etc.  Many times, people list first the father's name, then the mother's name, and then the children, oldest to youngest. But, I have a friend who lives with her nine children in China, and she always identifies the children in the photo itself and I love that! These are dear friends who I do not get to see and watching them grow up through the Christmas card is something I look forward to each season.

Use your handwriting whenever possible—that includes on the outside of the envelope.  Make sure you have the correct amount of postage, so that the recipient of your holiday greeting is sure to receive the card! Remember that postage depends on the size, not necessarily the weight of the envelope.

And, always include your return address, which allows Type A people (like us!) to check addresses each year for accuracy!

Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays!

Pasar buenas vacaciones

Trevlig helg

Bonnes vacances

즐거운 휴일 보내세요

Buone vacanze

Any way you say it, we wish it so for you and yours!

Happy Holidays!!!!!!



Debra Lassiter, April McLean & Cindy Haygood

The Etiquette & Leadership Institute

December 2011