Sunday, March 18, 2012

One for the gents, from K. Cooper Ray!

Perhaps you've read about K. Cooper Ray - author of the popular blog Social Primer and the book "Bill of Rites for the American Man" - in GQ, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, or Vanity Fair.

Now you can read about him on Perfectly Polished, thanks to our friend Chelsea Hanson who recently interviewed K. Cooper Ray about dating tips for men.

K. Cooper Ray and Chelsea Hanson

Thanks, K. Cooper Ray!

CH: What is the essential grooming a young man MUST undertake before walking out the door to his date?
KCR: Shower. Shave, comb your hair, brush your teeth, check your fingernails.

If the fellow has allowed enough time to get ready for the date and isn’t rushing around, what are some extra grooming activities?
Make sure there isn't any shaving cream in the crook of your ears. Moisturize your face with a little light lotion, put a little product in your hair, very little. Have a stiff drink so you're relaxed and easy going.

What are your thoughts on fragrance for men on a date: forego completely to be safe (and just smell clean), or is there a certain scent that is universally well-received...any tips on how to apply it without overdoing it?
I like a little scent. It sets a man apart. Brooks Brothers makes a couple of classic scents. Personally, I like their New York Gentleman. It's clean and manly and never overbearing. I also like Marc Jacobs...The trick to cologne is to keep it light. Spritz a little in the air and walk through it. That should do the trick.

Any tips on how to be demonstrably chivalrous in a genuine, not-fakey-feeling way while on the date?
Good manners, if practiced, should appear effortless and natural. Walk to her door to fetch her. Open her car door every time you get out or into the car. Hold her chair and slide it under her at dinner. Stand each time she stands, coming and going. Ask her questions and then listen and respond. Walk her to the door at the end of the night. The kiss, well, that's up to you, but feel the moment. You'll know if she's receptive. And ladies, watch for these things. This is the judge of a man's character. Of course, never discuss any of this. That would be tacky. If he fails, you'll know soon enough whether there is a second date.

Would you suggest a best way to dress for different dates - a casual date, or a sporting event, or a more formal dinner, or going out for drinks?
Oy. This is broad and open to much interpretation, so just stick with the uniform. Navy blazer, white button down, khakis or cords, and loafers or bucks. Never tennis shoes, sneakers, Tevas or flip flops. If it's more casual, drop the blazer, but why? This is still casual and you will always look sharp.

What are some of the easiest dating tips that girls appreciate the most?
Respect. And it comes in many forms. Your attitude, your conversation, your manners, and your dress.

What's the most appropriate way to end a date when the evening may not be over - should you invite her along with your friends or part ways?
A man does not end a date, the lady does. She is his responsibility for the evening. A man does not make any notion or motion that he is ready to end the date. Ever. If he plans on inviting her along with his friends, this should be made crystal clear before they are out on the town. This should be included in the plans for the evening.

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