Charge your plates

What's a charger?

No, not the kind for your phone...but the big, fancy plate that makes your table beautiful. You know—the plate on which you don't actually place food.

Chargers, also known as service plates, sit under the dinner plate. They are typically larger than a regular plate so that an inch or two of the decorative plate is visible. Chargers help create a completed look for the entire table, and also allow for the addition of color.

If you've ever used or seen a charger, it's likely been at a formal event, or during the holidays, when many hosts use silver, gold, green, or red chargers with white plates for a festive table.

And, trust us—you really are not supposed to eat on the charger! It's truly an aesthetic touch, though it does have a practical use—it makes removing plates from the table easy, and also keeps a formal table from having an empty place setting. Next time you want to set an immediate dinner mood in a creative way, think of the charger!

It all started with Versailles

Etiquette has always been flexible, even from the very start. Take Versailles, for example.

When aristocrats trampled through the gardens of Versailles, the French Court of Louis XIV used etiquette - literally, little signs - to remind them to stay off the grass. When dukes and duchesses ignored these signs, the king decreed that no one go beyond the bounds of etiquette, thus giving another meaning to the word: rules to be followed. So, a word that started off meaning a label or tag became a word synonymous with prescribed behavior.

Etiquette changes with the times. It has to adapt to still be meaningful to new generations, after all. A recent visit to Versailles reminded us of how this is true. Take place settings, for example.

Behold, the splendor of tables past!

Take a closer look at the fork and spoon. That placement is very much a French presentation, not often seen in the U.S., that highlights the beautiful design work on the back of the utensils. See?

Now, fast-forward to today...this was our place setting at the Versailles gift shop lunch counter.

Quite a difference, but still completely serviceable, and it's a solid reminder of how etiquette can — and should — change with the times.

Time to make the aspic

We have a soft spot for old etiquette guides.


Are you young? Modern? Great! This book is for you! (1954, Scholastic)



Or maybe you need to grow up a little first. (1962, Harper & Row)


Some of the advice dispensed in these books holds true today. Some is completely outdated. Some borders on cringe-worthy. But oh, the illustrations!


What career will she ever choose? (Spoiler alert: if she follows the advice of the book, it will be to get married and have babies. "Basically, of course, every girl wants to get married and raise a family," writes author Candy Jones. "...And when she does marry and finds herself darning socks or rinsing out baby's diapers - even when she gripes about how terrible her fate is, don't believe her...sock darning and diaper rinsing are part of what she wants out of life, deep down inside. Meanwhile, however, one has to pass the time some way, before the right marrying man shows up." ("Time to Grow Up," By Cindy Jones, 1962, Harper & Row)



Look at that cool customer! This part of the book warns readers about the dangers of being "fast." This is probably advice parents will give their children until the end of time. (From "Time to Grow Up")

Or perhaps you are looking for some solid napkin advice.


Beware of the "lapkin"! I wonder which "high authority" "daringly suggests" that you sit on your napkin? "Quite beyond the pale" indeed! Fetch me some smelling salts! By the way, this same book says that dunking your food in sauce in acceptable "only in the bosom of your family." Remember that. ("The Complete Book of Table Setting," By Amelia Leavitt Hill, 1949, The Greystone Press, NY)

Many of these books provide meal suggestions, and it is amazing how much aspic is included.

(from "The Complete Book of Table Setting")

Table setting ideas are abundant, from styles suited to sitting side by side (a bit awkward if you've ever actually tried that) to "little people" at Halloween to duck hunters.




(all from "The Complete Book of Table Setting")

Good manners never change, but etiquette is a living thing, adapted for each new generation. Teaching the waltz can co-exist with teaching texting etiquette. When our young people grow up, the world will be yet more different, but there will always exist the need to treat others with respect!

Have a great weekend - may it be filled with proper table settings.

Set a place for children

It's the season for dinner parties. In the U.S., Thanksgiving is right around the corner, itself an occasion for families to gather and dine together. But then starts a whirlwind of yet more holiday dinner parties - requiring weeks of planning menus, deciding who to put where at the table, and bringing out the fine china (or, in some perfectly respectable cases, plates that match).

As children's etiquette consultants, we believe in including children in everyday demonstrations of good manners. This is the perfect opportunity to talk about place settings at the table.

Several years ago, The Washington Post offered very helpful diagrams of both informal and formal table settings.

But let's bring this to a useful level for children. Simplify the table setting to the plates and flatware your child will actually use (in our example below, we include a bread plate; you may choose to take that out). Older children can make this a fun craft project to brighten up the holiday table. With our guide, your child can draw his or her own placemat, which then can be laminated. Extra crafty types can whip up a cloth placemat, onto which children can draw with fabric markers. Ours was made with construction paper, markers, and crayon.

Happy eating!